Way back when, animals could talk. And so could fruit, just like us!
So the Pineapple challenges the Hare to a race.
Everyone expects the Hare to win, but then Grape figures that the Pineapple has a trick up it's sleeve, and that the trick is some great and glorious plan that will allow it to beat the Hare.
Since the other animals don't want to look like idiots by rooting for a loser, so they all root for the Pineapple.
The race starts, Hare dashes off, blah blah blah. And Pineapple doesn't move an inch. (he doesn't have legs! see?)
Hare wins the race, comes back, and then everyone eats the Pineapple.
Moral of the Story: Pineapples don't have sleeves.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Good Book Report
Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One student turned in the following report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories. His professor gave him an A+.
Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99
Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read
Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bulls--t artist.
Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar
Clinton: Ditto for Bill
Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.
Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.
Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.
Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Bill doesn't remember Jack.
Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica...ohh, let's not go there, either.
Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary...basically the same thing.
Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99
Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read
Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bulls--t artist.
Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar
Clinton: Ditto for Bill
Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.
Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.
Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.
Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Bill doesn't remember Jack.
Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica...ohh, let's not go there, either.
Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary...basically the same thing.
Monday, May 2, 2011
X-May 2, 2011
Books-into-movies are always fun because you get to watch hundreds of people with millions of dollars FAIL at making something as good as one person with a typewriter.
April 28 at 10:34am
Can I get an ID on the extremely creepy guy who just sat next to me and Patrick at KP's??? If it helps, Patrick says the last time he saw him was on 4th of July and he was wearing a "Happy Halloween" shirt.
April 28 at 12:25pm
OMG...reading the worst Fanfic ever. Dying of laughter on this one xD
Spencer BrightSide Is no longer allowed to use words with more than two syllables between the hours of 2 and 8 AM =(
April 28 at 6:00pm
*le playing Catch Phrases*
Ty: What has a cherry filling and we have it every Thanksgiving?
*before anyone else can respond*
Me: ORPHANS!!!
April 28 at 7:04pm
The only reason I would ever have for doing drugs would be to provide comedy to others at my own expense, and I feel like I do a good enough job at that without drugs =3
April 28 at 9:09pm via Mobile Web
Aliens need to lay off the acid on crop circle nights...
April 28 at 11:42pm via Mobile Web
Viking Cow.
Friday at 7:23pm
Lif is too short.
Friday at 7:40pm
Rear ended someone on my way to Tulsa. I get out of my truck and start walking towards him and out plops a dwarf. We sat there for a minute and while we were waiting on the police to arrive he said, "I'm not happy." So I said, "Well then which one are you?"
Friday at 9:55pm via Mobile Web
Wild Innocent Civilians appeared!
New Zealand used invasion of privacy bill!
It's super effective! Innocent civilians fainted!
A wild Anonymous appeared!
New Zealand's attack continues. It's not very effective...
Anonymous used Hivemind! Anonymous is taking in energy...
Anonymous used Low Orbit Ion Cannon! It's super effective!
Saturday at 8:26pm via iPhone
Anything I do, I do it for the Lulz.
May they rest in peace.
Yesterday at 11:11am
My phone has an internal windshield wiper. Your argument is invalid.
23 hours ago via Mobile Web
America vs. Osama Bin Laden: The 9 & 1/2 year hide 'n' go seek game comes to a close.
16 hours ago via Mobile Web
BREAKING NEWS: Osama may be confirmed dead, but his beard was unable to go down and has escaped from the CIA WITH the dead body and is currently at large. If you have any info on the beard, call 1-866-OMG-BEARD. It is presumed armed and extremely dangerous.
15 hours ago via Mobile Web
BREAKING NEWS: Chuck Norris's beard has CORNERED Bin Laden's and is currently engaged in a Mexican Standoff. More details to follow.
15 hours ago via Mobile Web
April 28 at 10:34am
Can I get an ID on the extremely creepy guy who just sat next to me and Patrick at KP's??? If it helps, Patrick says the last time he saw him was on 4th of July and he was wearing a "Happy Halloween" shirt.
April 28 at 12:25pm
OMG...reading the worst Fanfic ever. Dying of laughter on this one xD
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.ch/My_Immortal/Chapter1-11
"Viewer Excretion Advised" xD
www.encyclopediadramatica.ch
AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!
Spencer BrightSide Is no longer allowed to use words with more than two syllables between the hours of 2 and 8 AM =(
April 28 at 6:00pm*le playing Catch Phrases*
Ty: What has a cherry filling and we have it every Thanksgiving?
*before anyone else can respond*
Me: ORPHANS!!!
April 28 at 7:04pm
The only reason I would ever have for doing drugs would be to provide comedy to others at my own expense, and I feel like I do a good enough job at that without drugs =3
April 28 at 9:09pm via Mobile Web
Aliens need to lay off the acid on crop circle nights...
April 28 at 11:42pm via Mobile Web
Viking Cow.
Friday at 7:23pm
Lif is too short.
Friday at 7:40pm
Rear ended someone on my way to Tulsa. I get out of my truck and start walking towards him and out plops a dwarf. We sat there for a minute and while we were waiting on the police to arrive he said, "I'm not happy." So I said, "Well then which one are you?"
Friday at 9:55pm via Mobile Web
Wild Innocent Civilians appeared!
New Zealand used invasion of privacy bill!
It's super effective! Innocent civilians fainted!
A wild Anonymous appeared!
New Zealand's attack continues. It's not very effective...
Anonymous used Hivemind! Anonymous is taking in energy...
Anonymous used Low Orbit Ion Cannon! It's super effective!
Saturday at 8:26pm via iPhone
Anything I do, I do it for the Lulz.
May they rest in peace.
Yesterday at 11:11am
My phone has an internal windshield wiper. Your argument is invalid.
23 hours ago via Mobile Web
America vs. Osama Bin Laden: The 9 & 1/2 year hide 'n' go seek game comes to a close.
16 hours ago via Mobile Web
BREAKING NEWS: Osama may be confirmed dead, but his beard was unable to go down and has escaped from the CIA WITH the dead body and is currently at large. If you have any info on the beard, call 1-866-OMG-BEARD. It is presumed armed and extremely dangerous.
15 hours ago via Mobile Web
BREAKING NEWS: Chuck Norris's beard has CORNERED Bin Laden's and is currently engaged in a Mexican Standoff. More details to follow.
15 hours ago via Mobile Web
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